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I need your help bara

So this past week I randomly struck up a conversation with another guy and it wasn't intentional, I don't even have their name or number.

But we talked for close to an hour, didn't get feelings but it was enough for me to realize I haven't had a real conversation with my actual husband like this in close to a year. Just an interpersonal conversation about our lives, where we want to go and hobbies. For a hour with a complete stranger at my job I was person, an actual person again and I cried the entire drive home because I didn't realize for a year what I was doing to myself.

Most of our conversations are fights

He's on his phone pretty much all the time

Peaceful suggestions turn into snaps

We haven't had sex in two years

We fall asleep in the living room or bedroom without any effort to sleep together

I hate alcohol, he's increased his intake I've given it up

Constant judging

He talks to me like I'm his child and has no confidence in me so I end up responding about how I'm not his child

I'm my affairs in order and talk to my partner this week. Neither of us have had the conversation but one of us has to initiate and it might as well be me.

But there's so much involved. A house, 2 cars, 3 dogs and financial assets. We'll end up having to sell the house as we can't afford it on our own regardless so there's my biggest thing. I feel horrible that I cannot tell him straight up I want out and just feel like I'm a warm body these days, I don't even know why I'm around I'm fucking miserable.


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>>1493 When the time comes, you'll find the strength within yourself to resolve this, by confronting or leaving him. But maybe your marriage can be saved by looking for the problem, like money or health problems, the death of someone, or anything else. He may feel alone fighting something you can't see, always on the phone talking to friends about something he can't share with you. But whatever happens, you'll be alive and okay.


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I've tried, I really have it's just the reality of the situation is that after 9 years and being married for the past 3 better or worse the past year we've just hit this point of existing together and it's where we are. That conversation I had was the most normal thing that's happened to me in a year… I've been coasting not doing anything but just school, work and existing

There's no more happiness
No more conversation
Our doggies have even picked sides
The home we share isn't really home anymore
He's more into his career and so am I
We've completely checked out on an individual level

Divorce happens, I get that but to not realize till you have a normal conversation with a stranger hurts. A stranger who left a more lasting impact on you than your husband has in a year

It's over, it's really over and I need to admit but I can't bring myself to have the conversation.


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i trust you've tried to find a way to please him, and a way to get what you need out of him. you've been very patient. i don't recommend hitting the hopium again. it's clear you have your life in order more than he does. i don't know about his disposition but you should contact a lawyer and show your husband you're serious about this. if he wants to continue what you have, get a generous postnup first. if he doesn't agree to it he's probably not serious about fixing things. if no postnup, just go. you've been miserable long enough. i'm being more cynical than i usually am, but i thought this might be an important option for you to at least consider if you're going to confront him.

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